


Heart attacks are just from loving too much

by shewarbler



Category: Dalton Academy Series, Glee
Genre: Character Death, Crying, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Jogan forever, Logan Needs A Hug, Lots of Crying, Stuart Trio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 12:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14619045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewarbler/pseuds/shewarbler
Summary: When Senator John Wright dies suddenly of a heart attack, the boys of Dalton struggle to figure out how to break the news to Logan and help their Stuart Prefect. Turns out, help comes from the most unexpected places.





	Heart attacks are just from loving too much

**Author's Note:**

> A note before you read this - this story is NOT a tale of Logan and how he deals with the death of his father. It is a depiction of how those around him try to tackle breaking the news and figure out what he needs from them. For the most part, the POV is from characters other than Logan, and focuses on how they are feeling throughout the story. I didn't feel I could tackle Logan's feelings on such a large scale and do them justice, so this is my way of expressing how those closest to Logan try help him through this difficult time.
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and please do leave feedback!

The phone had been ringing for a while before Derek finally gave in and rustled around in his papers to find and answer it. He was busy, very busy, and anyone who would be calling him should know that. _In fact…_ Derek wondered as he searched, _anyone who would be calling him should be busy too…_ Logan was off at an all-day Warbler rehearsal for Sectionals (having given Derek strict instructions not to interrupt him), and Julian was at a script reading just outside of Ohio and wouldn't be back until late tonight.

 

Derek's brow furrowed as he found his phone and registered the caller ID. _Michelle Wright?_ Why would she be calling him? He presumed it may be because she couldn't get hold of Logan, who had purposefully left his phone in his dorm room to prevent any distractions to their practice. His confusion only deepened when the call ended and revealed 7 missed calls, all from Michelle. An uneasy feeling crept into his stomach as he swiped right and called the number back. It was answered on the second ring, but the voice that came over the speaker wasn't Michelle's.

 

“Derek, thank goodness I reached you. Where is Logan? I've been calling him non-stop all morning”.

 

“Michelle?” Derek questioned, “He's at a closed Warbler practice and left his phone behind. No distractions and all that crap.”

 

“I see. Sorry, no this isn't Michelle. I'm Melody, her sister. Do you know when he will be back? It's important I speak to him immediately.” The women, Melody, responded to Derek, voice sounding strained and urgent. The uneasy feeling in Derek's stomach started to spread.

 

There was rustling on the other end and suddenly Michelle was speaking a mile a minute, “Derek. Oh Derek. I don't know how to say this, oh this is terrible. John…he…he was at work this morning and he…he…his heart…” She broke off into sobs and Derek swallowed hard as the uneasiness crept its way up his throat. Surely not…

 

“Michelle, what's going on? Is John alright?” He managed to get the words out without his voice breaking.

 

“He's dead, Derek. He had a heart attack and he died this morning. Oh god…” Michelle managed to choke out before the sobs continued.

 

“Oh my god. Michelle. I…I'm so sorry.” Derek spoke the words but didn't really remember saying them, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of his best friend, “Logan. Does Logan know?”

 

The mention of her step son's name seemed to register with Michelle, and she sniffled until she was able to speak again, “No. We haven’t been able to reach him. That's why I called you. I don't want him to have to hear this news over the phone and there is too much to deal with here right now for me to fly down…so…I was wondering…”

 

The words Derek had been hoping not to hear came from him in the end, as he finished the sentence for her, “You want me to tell him.”

 

“I know it's too much to ask of you Derek. But I would rather he hear it from someone who cares for him. I'm just sorry I can't be there.” Michelle's voice was soft now, laced with pain and longing.

 

Derek sighed deeply down the phone, struggling to find the words to comfort her, “I'll tell him. Don't worry; we'll take care of him until you can get here. I'm sorry for your loss Michelle. He…he loved you a lot. Even I could tell that.”

 

Michelle sniffled a little, a shaky sigh followed Derek's words, “Thank you honey. Tell him I love him so, so much and I'll speak to him soon. There's just so much to deal with here first.”

 

“I understand. Go on, I'll get him to call you as soon as I tell him.” Derek reassured her.

 

“You're a good friend Derek. Logan is lucky to have you.”

 

Derek smiled bitterly has she hung up, part of him doubting Logan would think the same once he broke the news. He tossed the phone onto his desk and buried his head in his hands, contemplating his next moves. How could he tell Logan this? How could he ruin his best friends' life like this? He let out a shaky breath, ignoring the stinging behind his eyes. He couldn't let it get to him, not now, not when he needed to be the strong one. One thing Derek was sure of - he couldn't do it alone. He needed help.

 

Derek shoved down his feelings and reached for his phone again, fingers easily dialling the familiar number. The dial tone rang on and on, and he cursed as it finally went to voicemail. He hung up and dialled again. And again and again, until finally someone picked up.

 

“Derek for fucks sake what is it? I'm in the middle of a reading, you know that!” Julian hissed down the phone and Derek, not even trying to hide his annoyance.

 

“Jules, this is important –” Derek tried to interrupt but Julian was on a roll.

 

“Oh you think so? I’ll tell you what’s important – this role! I need to make a good impression on these directors if I want to work with them more. Do you have any idea how unprofessional it looks when my phone won't stop buzzing and I have to leave to answer it? Everyone is waiting on me right now! I thought you understood these things so I can't fathom why –”

 

“Senator John Wright is _dead_ , that's why!” Derek exploded down the phone, immediately regretting his harshness.

 

Silence followed, and the only thing Derek was able to hear was his own shaky breathing until finally, “Excuse me?”

 

Derek gathered himself before he continued, “Michelle just called. He died of a heart attack this morning.”

 

“Shit. Derek, oh my god.” He paused again. “Does Logan know?” he said suddenly, voice laced with concern.

 

“Not yet. She…she asked me to tell him though. How do I tell him that Jules? He'll hate me.” Derek confessed, even the thought of having to tell Logan making him feel like shit.

 

“Don’t panic Derek. We'll do it together. Give me a sec.” There was rustling on the other end of the line and the sound of a door opening. Derek could hear Julian's voice, but muffled as if the other boy had tried to prevent him from hearing. “Carmen, I need to leave. Get me a car please. I’ll be waiting out front.”

 

A second deeper voice, further away, opposed immediately, “What do you mean you're leaving? We're in the middle of a reading!”

 

“This isn’t up for debate. It’s an emergency and I am needed elsewhere. So I’m leaving. Now.” Derek found himself smiling at his friends’ determination. A door closed and Julian’s voice was clearer, talking to Derek again, “I'll be there in an hour D, two max. Wait for me and we'll tell him together.”

 

“Thanks Jules. I just don't know what I'll say to him. They may have had their issues but it's his dad, y’know?” Derek said.

 

“I know.” Julian said quietly, “We'll manage somehow. I gotta go yell at some people to get me home. Just wait for me.”

 

“I will. He'll still be in practice anyway, we have some time.” Derek was for once grateful for the strict practices around competition time.

 

Julian caught him just as he was about to hang up, “And D? He'll be ok. Not at first, of course, but we'll get him through this.”

 

Derek nodded as if Julian could see him, and hung up the phone. He felt sick to his core, and wished he had never answered the dam phone in the first place. He decided he'd wait for Julian in his room and try to come up with how to best approach Logan.

 

Time passed, how much Derek couldn’t be sure, but before he knew it his phone was ringing again and he was thankfully roused from his thoughts. The caller ID surprised him once more, but he didn’t hesitate to answer this time.

 

“Hey Dad. You have no idea how glad I am to hear from you.” Derek spoke softly. His Dad was still breathing, still _alive_ and well…something Derek took for granted every day.

 

“Derek, is everything alright? You don’t sound like yourself.” Ernest Siegerson’s voice was thoroughly comforting to Derek; his tone was always sure regardless of what he was saying.

 

Derek laughed a little bitterly, “That’s a loaded question right now.”

 

Ernest sighed down the phone, “I take it you’ve heard the news then.”

 

Derek frowned on the other end, wondering if they were talking about the same thing, “What are you talking about Dad?”

 

“Senator Wright. It’s all over the tabloids – pictures of an ambulance outside their home and everything. Has Logan heard how he is? I was calling to see if you could let me know what happened. How are you guys holding up?” Ernest asked hopefully.

 

Derek wasn’t sure when he started crying, but before he knew it tears were rolling off of his chin and onto his knees. A sob escaped his mouth and Ernest startled, pulling the phone back and wondering if the sound actually came from the other end, “Derek? What’s wrong son?”

 

“Dad…oh god…” Derek drew in a sharp breath and tried to get his shit together before he broke the news to his Dad that one of his closest friends was dead, “Dad, he died. Michelle called not long ago to let me know and ask if I would tell Logan. He had a fucking heart attack.”

 

“Goddamit.” Ernest replied, dropping his head onto his hand and shaking it softly. “Oh John. I always knew his job would cost him, but I never imagined… Wait, Logan doesn’t know? She asked _you_ to tell him? Why on earth -” Ernest stopped himself – now was not the time to be angry. “Son, this is going to be one of the hardest things you will do in life, but he needs to hear this from you. Not from some shitty tabloid.”

 

Derek rubbed at his eyes furiously as he spoke, wishing the tears would stop falling, “Fuck, I know. I wanted to wait for Julian but if it’s already reaching the news…” Derek sniffled, angry at himself for letting his emotions break free, “How on earth do I give him the worst news of his life Dad? There are about a million ways I can see this playing out, and around half of them involve me being punched in the face.”

 

“You know Logan better than anyone, Derek. And from what I know of him, I think you need to just come out with it. It may seem harsh when you say it, but he’ll appreciate you not treating him like a child.” Ernest reassured his son, wishing more than anything that this task hadn’t fallen to him, “This isn’t something you can prepare for. You’ll have to read the moment and then decide the best course of action.”

 

“I think you’re right.” Derek’s voice was small, making Ernest want to reach through the phone and comfort him, “I just don’t want him to hate me, Dad. I’m about to turn his world upside down – how will he be able to look at me again without being constantly reminded of this moment?”

 

“You two boys – you and Julian – are the closest things Logan has to family around here, son. If he has to hear this sort of news, I can’t imagine him wanting it to come from anyone else.”

 

There was silence for a moment, Derek considering his fathers’ words and Ernest contemplating what to say next, but it was Derek who followed, “Why him Dad? Logan, he…he’s been through so much shit in his life already and…it’s just not fair.”

 

“I don’t have those answers Derek. I don’t think anyone does. I know you’re hurting son, you will feel his grief and it is going to suck. But he’s going to need you - he’ll need both of you.” Ernest’s tone changed from soothing and sympathetic to strong again, attempting to give his son at least a little direction, “So you need to take a minute to get it out, you do what you need to do, but then you get your shit together and you go find him Derek. Be prepared for any kind of reaction, but don’t let him push you away. Let him scream and yell and cry, but don’t let him run. He needs to deal with this pain or it will eat him alive.” Ernest hoped his words would reassure his son, and that his own emotions weren’t getting in the way of supporting him.

 

“I don’t think Julian will be leaving him alone any time soon, you don’t have to worry about that.” Derek sighed once more, finally feeling like he could at least move and make his way toward Warbler hall.

 

“I’ll be here if you need me. Not just for this stuff with Logan – for you. I always will be Derek.”

 

Derek smiled, feeling more connected with his father in this moment than he had in months, “Thanks, Dad. I’m gonna go find him. I’ll call when I can. But in the mean time? Don’t read any of those articles Dad. They won’t…they won’t make you feel any better. I know he was good friend, this must hurt you too.”

 

“Don’t you go worrying about your old man - I’ll be fine. I’ll clock off early.” Ernest said, surprised at his son’s concern for him.

 

“Alright. Well…I’ll talk to you soon. I love you, Dad.” Derek said, not even hesitating to say the last part.

 

Ernest however took a moment to respond, genuinely taken aback by Derek’s words, “I love you too, Derek. You’ll be okay. Both of you.” He hesitated for a moment but decided best to end the call there, hanging up on Derek and thumping his head onto the back of his chair. _Dammit, John…_

 

 _Guess I don’t have time to wait for Julian after all…_ Before he could think any more about it, Derek pocketed his phone and headed for the main building, the task ahead still daunting but at least he felt like he could deal with it now.

 

The doors to the hall were closed when he arrived, the swelling sounds of perfect harmonies echoing down the corridor, making Derek wonder if he could sneak in unnoticed. He didn’t have to try however, as he noticed Mr Harvey approaching - coffee cup in one hand and music sheets in the other - and called to him to get his attention.

 

“Hey, Mr Harvey, hold up a sec!” Derek jogged down the corridor to catch up to him before he disappeared behind the wooden doors.

 

The teacher looked up from his sheets and smiled, his glasses perched low on his nose, which he removed as Derek reached him. “Derek, it’s nice to see you. I hate to be rude but I’m in the middle of practice just now so can’t really chat.”

 

“Well, that’s why I’m here. I need to see Logan.” Derek started, and continued to talk as Mr Harvey looked as though he was about to protest, “I know, I know, closed practice and all. But I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.” He rubbed a hand over his face and looked around them anxiously, not wanting anyone to overhear.

 

Harvey seemed to pick up on his mood and tucked the sheets under his arm to reach out and grasp Derek’s shoulder lightly, “Hey, what’s wrong? If Logan’s in some sort of trouble I’d rather know about it.”

 

Derek admired his concern, but wondered how many people he would have to break this news to before he finally spoke to Logan, “No he’s not in trouble. It’s his father. John, he…he died this morning. Heart attack.” Derek had to look away as he said it, couldn’t bear to see the change in his teachers’ face. Still, he felt his posture change immediately.

 

Harvey stiffened as he processed Derek’s words, face turning from soft to stony in a matter of seconds. He gave Derek’s shoulder a squeeze and nodded once, “Alright. Come on.”

 

Derek followed him through the doors, but hung back as Harvey moved to the centre and clapped his hands to get the attention of all the Warblers. “Alright boys, things are sounding great. How about we take five?” there were groans of relief as the boys disbanded almost immediately, darting to check phones or collapse onto the nearest available surface. Harvey called out before conversations filled the room, “Logan? Can I see you for a minute?” Logan glanced up expectantly and although he looked tired, Harvey though there was joy in his eyes. He hated that he didn’t know when those eyes would look the same again.

 

Logan wandered over and smiled politely, “What’s up? Was it because I messed up the second verse again? I know I keep doing it, those lyrics are just such a tongue twister.” He laughed a little as he spoke, which broke Harvey’s heart. He had no idea what was about to happen. Derek approached slowly, making Logan frown a little, “Derek? Come on man, I said no interruptions!”

 

Derek struggled to even look at him, so Mr Harvey continued, “Your singing is fine Logan. I’m actually going to excuse you from rehearsals the rest of today. Derek…has something he needs to talk to you about.”

 

Logan looked between the two suspiciously, “Okay…” he turned to Derek, “What’s going on?”

 

Derek finally looked to his friend, gesturing toward the door, “Come on. Let’s get coffee.” He led Logan away after an encouraging nod from Harvey, trying hard to ignore the fact that every Warbler in the room was watching them curiously. The room was mostly silent after they left, a few murmurs passing around until Harvey gathered their attention again, trying to prevent any eavesdropping and prepare the boys for what was about to happen.

 

Only once he and Logan were seated with a cup of coffee each did Derek finally speak. He sat next to Logan on the couch, facing him squarely, determined to keep his face steady as he broke the news. Logan side eyed him as he fidgeted, finally getting fed up and asking him to talk. “Dude, seriously, you’re making me uncomfortable.”

 

Derek took a long drag of coffee and set his cup on the table before he spoke, “Alright, look, I’m just gonna say it. Just know that however you want to react…it’s ok. Ok?”

 

Logan frowned at him, clearly confused by the whole situation, and Derek wished more than anything this was some sort of practical joke. A cruel one, but a joke nonetheless. “Michelle called me, said she couldn’t get hold of you, which would make sense considering your phone is in your dorm. Lo…” he looked away for a moment, and reached for Logan’s hand before he held eye contact again, preparing for the worst. He spoke slowly and clearly, making sure Logan understood every word, “Your Dad had a heart attack this morning. By the time anyone found him…it was too late. He died, Logan. I’m so, so sorry.”

 

And as Logan’s face fell slowly, his eyes glazed over and his shoulders tensed and he stopped breathing for a moment, Derek contemplated the cruel world they lived in. No one deserved this, but especially not Logan. He squeezed Logan’s hand, probably a little too hard, and waited.

 

Logan let out one long, steady breath, nodded a few times and looked down to where Derek was clutching his hand. He swallowed once, hard, and then it all happened in a blur. Logan stood and launched his coffee mug against the wall with all the force he could muster, a loud yell escaping with it. The mug shattered into pieces and left splatters of coffee on the white paint, which slowly trickled down in the seconds that followed. Logan was breathing hard, chest heaving with the effort.

 

Derek stood and reached for Logan’s arm, wanting to provide some kind of comfort to his best friend but Logan recoiled sharply, jerking away from Derek’s touch. Although he had expected it, it still hurt Derek to see Logan reject him, “Lo, come on.”

 

“No!” Logan yelled, stepping back from Derek, “No, Derek. Don’t.” he turned on his heel and stormed toward the door.

 

“Logan please!” Derek called as he started to follow him, but stopped in his tracks when Logan yelled over his shoulder.

 

“Stay the _fuck_ away from me Derek!” the venom in his voice was what hurt Derek the most, what stopped him from running after his friend and demanding he accept his support. He sank to the couch and screwed his eyes shut as the tears returned, determined not to let them fall this time.

 

Simultaneously stunned silence fell over the boys in the practice hall, echoes of the smash and Logan’s voice filled the air. A few boys covered their mouths in shock; some bowed their heads in respect, while others struggled to hide their emotions. A moment passed, where no one knew what to do, what to say, until Mr Harvey cleared his throat and all the boys looked to their teacher for guidance.

 

His voice was soft as he spoke to them all, “Alright boys. I think practice is over for today. You’ve all worked hard, and I’m proud of you all. Go enjoy your evening. But please boys, I ask that you respect Logan and his privacy. No gossiping or sharing stories of what you heard just now. Windsor boys, lay off the pranks on Stuart. Logan is going to need all the love and support he can get right now, and he’s one of us. Please just remember that.” Harvey looked at every boy individually as he issued his warning, conveying to each one the importance of solidarity in a time like this. Only once they gave murmured agreements did he disband them.

* * *

 

 

Forty minutes later, Blaine Anderson found himself wandering toward the stone bench situated underneath the vine trellis in Dalton’s memorial garden. After Julian’s arrival, and the Stuart’s reporting that there was no sign of Logan, Blaine couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew where the Stuart prefect may have disappeared to. Not wanting to incur the wrath of Julian if he was proved to be wrong, Blaine decided to see for himself.

 

As he approached the garden, Blaine felt a strange mix of relief and guilt that he was in fact right, and that Logan was here – alone. Although Logan usually towered over Blaine – he was taller and broader and bolder – when Blaine looked at him now Logan seemed so small, curled in on himself and almost mimicking the statues in the garden with how little he was moving. Logan sat cross-legged on the bench, hands restlessly moving in his lap and his head bowed, staring at the ground. When Blaine got closer he could see Logan’s legs were littered in little torn up pieces of leaves, and his hands were in fact methodically ripping up even more.

 

Blaine sighed, nodded once and walked over to the bench, sitting down before he could talk himself out of it. Logan didn’t move nor did his expression change, he still remained stony and tense, but Blaine knew he recognised his presence. Blaine sat there; silently thinking back to the moment where Logan had found him here when Shane had gone missing, the way Logan had pushed their issues aside just to provide Blaine with some comfort during the worst moment of his life so far. He thought back to Logan’s words, trying to use them to inspire some of his own, but nothing he could think of felt right for the moment. So he just sat there, hoping his presence alone would provide Logan with some comfort.

 

Surprisingly Logan was the one who broke their silence, and it hurt Blaine to hear the harsh words coming from him, spoken in a soft but broken voice, “So my Dad is dead.”

 

Blaine looked at Logan, expression neutral as he watched the older boy looking contemplative. “Yeah.”

 

Silence fell over them again for a moment, until Logan laughed bitterly and looked to Blaine, “Like, what the fuck? As if the bastard didn’t have anything else to take from me, so he just fucked off as well.”

 

“Logan…” Blaine started, reaching a hand out to grasp Logan’s shoulder. Logan glanced at it for a second, hesitating before he shrugged it off.

 

“Na. I know…he didn’t die just to piss me off. I guess it just makes it easier to think of him as an asshole right up until the end. Cause if I don’t…” he shook his head and looked away, then looked back at Blaine, his eyes full of emotions that Blaine couldn’t even try to identify, “What am I supposed to feel right now? How do I even begin to deal with this?”

 

Blaine shrugged helplessly, so unaccustomed to this desperate and exposed version of Logan, “You’re surrounded by people that love and care for you. I guess you have to let them help you figure it out.”

 

“Like who? I’ve chased so many people away I’m surprised anyone still sticks around me.”

 

“Don’t be so naïve, Logan. You have Derek and Julian for starters – those two would draw blood for you.” He paused, considering his next words, “There’s Kurt. He’s defended you from day one and he wouldn’t take kindly to the idea of you thinking he doesn’t care about you. And there’s…me. We may have had our disagreements, multiple I guess, but I never wanted to see you hurt Logan. And this kind of hurt…no one deserves to feel this. You have a whole house of students and a group of Warblers who have grown to actually like you, believe it or not.” He smiled softly at Logan, but the blonde just scoffed.

 

“Yeah, cause I’m sure Julian knows anything about what the fuck is going on right now.” Logan said disbelievingly. He angrily swept the shards of leaf off his lap and sat forward, elbows resting on his knees and head in his hands.

 

Blaine frowned at him now. _Does he really think Julian doesn’t care about him?_ “Are you kidding? I’m pretty sure he was about to dismember some first years for not being able to find you. Plus he was cursing Derek for everything he was worth for letting you go off on your own. And that was just what I saw. He’s been going crazy trying to find you Logan.”

 

Logan’s shoulders visibly relaxed a little then as he turned to Blaine, “Really? He’s…Julian…he’s here?”

 

Blaine looked at Logan intently, “Of course he is. He loves you, Logan. They both do.”

 

A strange smile twitched at Logan’s lips for an instant, but he went back to staring at the ground. Both boys sat in silence again, and while it wasn’t uncomfortable, Blaine felt it was an appropriate time to round off their conversation. He raised a hand to Logan’s back as he spoke, “You can get through this Logan, but not alone. We both know you’re strong, but no one is that strong. It’s ok to be vulnerable y’know…especially when there are people there to catch you.”

 

Blaine waited for Logan to respond, but when he didn’t Blaine took it as his cue to leave. He gave Logan’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze and stood to leave. Logan stayed put, but Blaine didn’t push it. He walked a few steps, but stopped and said one last thing.

 

“They’re both in your room waiting for you to come back.”

 

And he kept walking.

 

Logan remained on the bench for another little while, thinking over Blaine’s words and found himself imagining the faces of his two best friends. _You can’t do it alone…_

 

Blaine’s words echoed in his head until he quietly opened the door to his dorm room. When he did, Derek’s head snapped up so fast he felt something pull in his neck, and all the tension left Julian’s body at once, relief flooding to his face as they both watched Logan slowly close the door behind him.

 

They stayed like that for a couple of beats – Logan leaning against the door, Derek curled up in the desk chair and Julian standing in the middle of the room, where he had previously been pacing. The silence felt awkward, but no one knew what to say, which just made Logan feel even more terrible. He didn’t want his friends to act differently around him. He wanted Julian to break the silence with some dramatic ‘ _miss me, your majesty?’_ or Derek to be complaining about the crap load of work he still had to get done. He wanted to rant to them about his day-long practice and how annoying the Windsor’s were; how he still couldn’t get his head wrapped around the song lyrics and the little time he had left to learn them. But instead…his mind was blank – fuzzy almost, like the thoughts were there but just slightly out of focus.

 

Julian took a few careful steps toward him, slowly at first, as if not to spook a scared animal. He reached Logan and analysed his face before he took his next actions, cautious about doing too much. Derek had sat up straighter in the chair and was watching closely, preparing himself in case he needed to intervene – Logan had been volatile earlier, and there was potential he could react the same way again. Julian gingerly reached a hand out and touched Logan’s arm, gentle at first but when the blonde didn’t reject him, he held on more tightly.

 

“Lo?” Julian ducked his head a little, attempting to catch Logan’s eye, “We’re here Logan. Whatever you need.”

 

There was a tense pause as Logan looked at Julian in which Derek half rose from the chair. But when both boys looked into each other’s eyes – one set full of pain and longing, the other set full of love and care, both shining with unshed tears – Logan immediately grabbed Julian and pulled the smaller boy toward him into a hug. He buried his face in Julian’s neck, desperately trying not to let the tears fall.

 

“Jules…” he managed to choke out, gripping Julian so tight it probably hurt, but Julian only gripped back harder, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

 

Julian recovered from the initial shock of the hug instantly, wrapping his arms around Logan and whispering words of comfort, “I’m here, Lo. I’m here, I’ve got you.”

 

Julian’s words proved to be the fatal blow to Logan’s reserve, and finally he broke. A hard sob fell from his lips and Julian’s shirt was wet already, but he didn’t care, not when Logan was falling to the floor and he was struggling to hold them both up. But then Derek was there, on his feet the instant he saw Logan’s knees buckle under his own weight, and grabbed Logan’s waist to hold him up. Derek managed to half peel him away from Julian to wrap one of Logan’s arms over his shoulder, but the sight of his friends’ face was like a cold stab to his heart. Logan’s face was contorted in pain, eyes screwed shut as tears rolled down his cheeks and sob after sob fell from his mouth.

 

Both Derek and Julian shared a sparing glance at each other, realising they were both feeling the same pain for their friend, and struggled toward the bed with Logan between them. They pressed him down, pulled off his blazer and shoes in the process, and each climbed onto opposite sides of the bed. The moment Julian lay next to Logan, the Stuart prefect clung to his side and buried his face in Julian’s chest.

 

“He’s gone, J…oh fuck…he’s really gone….” Logan cried, his whole body shaking with the force of his sobbing.

 

“I know Lo, I know. I’m so sorry.” Julian tried to comfort him by carting his hand through Logan’s hair while Derek rubbed soothing circles down his back.

 

Derek wasn’t sure how much time passed, but when Julian started to shift a little uncomfortably, he tried to pull Logan toward him a little. It was then that he noticed Logan’s fist was curled tightly into Julian’s shirt, his knuckles turning white with the grip. Derek reached down and wrapped his own hand around Logan’s, gently loosening their hold on Julian and replacing the shirt with his own hand. He pulled slowly until Logan was on his back in between them both, giving Julian a chance to move more comfortably.

 

Logan held onto Derek tightly as a fresh wave of sobs wracked his body, and when Julian wrapped his own hand over them both Derek looked up to see the brunette silently crying as he watched his friend grieve. Hardly surprised, Derek realised he was crying too, although this time he didn’t try to hide it. Instead he hunkered down and snuggled close to Logan, with Julian following suit, both boys hoping that maybe between the three of them they could get Logan through this.

 

Hours passed, and gradually Logan’s gut wrenching sobs turned into soft crying, later calming to quiet whimpers until he eventually tired himself out and drifted to a sniffling sleep. Still, Derek and Julian remained on either side of Logan, their hands interlinked on Logan’s chest.

 

Julian wriggled his hand free and gently brushed Logan’s hair back from his forehead, fingers lingering on his tear streaked face. His thumb stroked over Logan’s cheek for a moment, before he sighed deeply and returned his hand to Derek’s.

 

“What are we gonna do, J?” Derek asked softly, looking at Logan intently with eyes full of concern, “Look at him.” 

 

“Be here for him. Whatever and whenever he needs. We’re his family, D, it’s what we do.” Julian said with a hint of determination in is voice.

 

“He can’t go dark with this. I don’t think we’d get him back from that.” Derek said.

 

Julian sat up a little and glared at Derek, “He won’t go dark, Derek. You know why? Because we won’t let him. He isn’t going to go through this alone. We’ll be here, every step of the way.” He was getting annoyed now.

 

“I certainly know I will be, but what about your movie? I can’t imagine these high and mighty directors you want to make a good impression on being happy about you delaying them.” Derek said, trying not to be sceptical of Julian’s claims, but experience telling him otherwise.

 

In response, Julian lay back down next to his friend and cradled his cheek with his hand, “I’m not going anywhere. Screw the movie – he needs me.” Julian moved closer to Logan and pressed a small kiss to his cheek, making the sleeping boy hum and move closer to the touch. Derek smiled as he watched the interaction and decided to drop the subject. Julian clearly wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, and Derek was absolutely fine with that.

 

The two boys snuggled closer to their sleeping friend, hands lying interlinked on Logan’s chest, watching them rise and fall with every steady breath. The sun had set long ago, but neither boy had any intentions of returning to their own rooms tonight. It was another hour or so until both Derek and Julian drifted to sleep, but before they did they both made promises to each other that, hell or high water, they would battle Logan’s grief – _together._

**Author's Note:**

> I am aware the layout on this was hella weird, but I wrote most of this on my phone on a very long bus journey so blame the crappy word document app I have.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
